This is something which is bothering me ever since I have embraced motherhood.
It is not a mere question; it is a feeling – sometimes even a guilt. And this feeling becomes more intense and thought provoking if you are also working.
(I won’t call myself a working-mom; because a mother is 24/7 working anyway.)
So, I ask myself every morning when I leave for work and every night when I watch him asleep. Am I a good mother?
(You see, how life has changed over the years. Altogether a different set of questions to think about.)
Do you remember how your heart sank a little when mom and dad saw you off first time at kindergarten? I guess for most of us (who have not been to day cares) it is the first time our parents leave us on our own – out there with people we do not know at all. My heart even used to sink in the university days – every time when I left home and traveled another city for studies.
And now waving morning goodbyes to Shazil – leaving him behind (although with the people who love him the most); I wonder how he feels about it. Does his heart sink too? May be a little. He takes one long deep breathe when I come home in the evening and hold him tight. And it makes me question, “Am I a good mother?”
(You see! It is not easy being a working-mom either!)
But when I think more about it, the next question which comes across: Who exactly is a good mother? I guess there is no definition of it. Can you define? If yes, let me know too! I believe, if you are doing your best for your children – you are a good mother. And I also believe, a mother can do her best in various different ways.
Not every mom has the luxury to stay at home; and likewise not every mom has the liberty to work. Not everybody is given a choice! Only a few has the luxury to choose.
So, the question is not whether you are working or not after embracing motherhood?
(I have been asked this question multiple times.)
The question is; are you doing your best as a mother? And I can bet on this; there is no mother who would do any less for her children (in the given capacities and circumstances); or who would want to compromise on better upbringing of her children.
Being mother is complicated! Just as being human too! But we do not take ‘being human’ that much seriously as much as we take our kids seriously. We keep on reflecting about ourselves as mothers – time and again. And that makes us good mothers!
Now, let’s bring in fathers here!
Do you ask yourself, “Am I a good father?”
How frequently do you reflect on it?
And how does it feel?
Happy Mothers Day Everyone!
(P.s. I am a day late in wishing Mother’s Day because I was busy in being a mom of a nine months old :))